Maureen Dowd has in recent years been quite the object of criticism for her explorations of the male sex,but this just came across my inbox (HT: Kirk DeBoer): an op-ed piece on what constitutes the kind of person suitable for marriage.

Last Sunday we began to discuss how compatibility should enter into one’s thinking about whom to marry.We argued that there are certain limitations to tying one’s hopes of a good marriage to that notion, but we also recognized how finding similarities between two people is not an inherently misguided endeavor.  What Dowd’s brief essay espouses (no pun intended) is that which she heard from a Catholic priest who’s spent decades counseling people prior to their decision to marry. Aside from his characterization of Paul as a “world-class” misogynist, he outlines a very workable set of guidelines for choosing a mate.  And compatibility features very heavily, but compatibility in a different sense: is a potential mate’s character compatible with what constitutes a mature, adult, and holy outlook?  

Well, you can read the rest.  I wonder what you might add.

Hey, click on the book for a link to a listing for an upcoming book written by none other than Josh Foist’s sister!  Apparently we have here a playful and thoughtful counterpoint to HBO’s (and now syndicated tv’s) comment on the landscape of sexuality in our culture.  The book release is set for early next week.  Anyone want to read it and write up a review for us?

Valentine’s Day is Thursday and provides a forum, interestingly, for two very different kinds of expressions: the amorous and the angst-ridden.

So Despair.com (whose CEO claims membership in our Body) has dutifully provided a little platform for whichever kind of expression you’d prefer to share in response to the approach of Valentine’s Day.

Here’s one of the angst-ridden kind:

The contest is on: go to the link above and create your succinct expression, right-click the picture to save it, and then forward it to us. We’ll publish some of the cleverest, with the most clever receiving some sort of fitting prize. (you can submit entries of the amorous or the angst-ridden–in a three-heart, or just the one-heart display; we’ll award a prize in each category)

Submit as many entries as you’d like. Contest ends Thursday at 5pm. A distinguished panel of judges (your servant-leadership team) will adjudicate.

Let your succinctness–amorous or angst-ridden–fly!

David Wilcox sorta became the soundtrack for my wife’s and my courtship. He’d been a herald-of-understatement for the both of us separately–that is, his way of speaking truth was so subtle as to make it more compelling. When we began to listen to him together–his incongruities with our understanding of eternal truths notwithstanding–we still agreed there was much to be appreciated and heeded about his musings on what is true, good, perfect, and lasting.

My wife found this song again this morning, like an old, forgotten photo-album that when you revisit its contents has a peculiar effect on your soul: you’ve been in it before, but hadn’t felt precisely what it produced in you by anything else since.

I share it with you (yes, a free song, can you believe it? scroll to the bottom of the page to click on the flash recording of it), because it reaffirms something C.S. Lewis makes a case for in The Abolition of Man: that which is true endures. Certain virtues are virtues because they have emerged within every culture in every era.

And what David has to say in this song only echoes…and teases out what Jesus had to say about the primacy of giving (love). Yes, David likely has in view as he composes the love between two lovers, but I’m sure he wouldn’t narrow what’s true about giving love to that context alone; what’s true about love is applicable to any connection in which love can be expressed

So enjoy. And be reminded: His love endures forever because His truth has endured forever.

The Love You Give

Oh to be loved, good as that is,
No.
It can never take you where you want to go.
No.
Just to be loved, fine as that is,
No.
It can never teach you what you need to know.

To be loved can start the spark that gets your own love to burn.
But when you feel the fire of real love, you’ll learn.

That the only kind of love that makes a lifetime,
Into a life well lived.
The only kind of love that ever fills you,
Is the love you give.

So brave is the strength of broken hearts,
Yes.
To love and love again, and give nothing less.
Yes.
Like flowing water springs from mountain rock,
Yes.
The broken place reveals what you possess.

Like the mountain broken open finds the spring that flows,
Your heart can never open till it’s broken so you know.

That the only kind of love that makes a lifetime,
Into a life well lived.
The only kind of love that ever fills you,
Is the love you give.

Oh the love you get, seems like enough at first.
But then there’s that hunger, and that thirst.
And the more you try to get, it just gets worse.
There’s not enough on earth to get of it,
If getting’s all you try.
The giving that you hunger for,
Is all that satisfies.

The only kind of love that makes a lifetime,
Into a life well lived.
The only kind of love that ever fills you,
Is the love you give.